Download PDF by Zoe Fishman: Saving Ruth: A Novel

By Zoe Fishman

When Ruth returns domestic to the South for the summer season after her freshman yr in school, a close to tragedy pushes her to discover relations truths and take an excellent examine the girl she desires to become.

Growing up in Alabama, all Ruth Wasserman sought after was once to be a blond Baptist cheerleader. yet as a curly-haired Jew with a rampant candy enamel and a sensible mouth, this was once an most unlikely dream. now not assisting the location was once her older brother, David—a football celebrity whose attractiveness, smarts, and recognition reigned in class and at domestic. collage supplied an break out course and Ruth took it.

Now domestic for the summer season, she's again lifeguarding and training along David, and even though the task is similar, not anything else is. She's a prisoner of her low vanity and bad courting with nutrients, David is closed off and far away in a fashion he's by no means been ahead of, and their mom and dad are being affected by the truth of an empty nest. whilst a close to drowning occurs on their watch, a typhoon of repercussions forces Ruth and David to confront long-ignored truths approximately their city, their kin, and themselves.

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Maturity Has a New Meaning When I say that boundaries are overrated, I don’t mean that there are absolutely no boundaries, or that all of humanity is just one big, undifferentiated, brownish-beige lump. Nor am I suggesting that anyone give up her or his own distinct personality for the sake of fitting in with a cozy, companionable group. No therapist I know believes that it’s healthy to abandon your beliefs, preferences, and quirks for the sake of a smoothly running—and bland—larger whole. For decades, in fact, psychology moved in the other direction, in the belief that the only path to human growth was traveled via emotional separation.

As school-aged children interact with their peers and make mistakes, they learn how to manage relationships. Teenagers expand their relational worlds even further; they negotiate sexual relationships, and they have to learn how to become part of a group without succumbing to peer pressure. This reinterpretation of developmental growth has an overarching theme: human beings don’t mature by separating. Instead, they grow toward a greater and greater relational complexity. This approach to human development has a name: relational-cultural theory, or RCT.

So for years before the mirroring study, I was using Relational-Cultural Theory, or RCT, to help my patients. Instead of giving struggling young people the standard advice to “separate from your parents and stop depending on them for emotional support,” we looked for ways they could stay connected to their families of origin while building their adult lives. Instead of telling people with explosive anger or chronic irresponsibility that they had to learn to self-regulate, we picked their relationships that felt the most durable—and worked on new emotional skills in an atmosphere that made it safer and easier to take risks.

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Saving Ruth: A Novel by Zoe Fishman


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