Four Ways to Click: Rewire Your Brain for Stronger, More by Amy Banks PDF

By Amy Banks

ISBN-10: 0399169199

ISBN-13: 9780399169199

Research indicates that individuals can't succeed in their complete capability except they're in fit reference to others. Dr. Amy Banks teaches us easy methods to rewire our brains for more fit relationships and happier, extra fulfilling lives.

We all adventure moments after we think remoted and on my own. A 2006 Purdue collage research stumbled on that twenty-five percentage of usa citizens can't identify a unmarried individual they believe on the subject of. but each one in every of us is hardwired for shut relationships. The key to extra gratifying relationships—be it with an important different, loved one, or colleague—is to reinforce the neural pathways in our brains that inspire closeness and connection.

There are 4 exact neural pathways that correspond to the 4 most vital materials for fit and fulfilling relationships: calmness, popularity, emotional resonance, and effort. This groundbreaking e-book offers readers the instruments they should increase the elements in their mind that inspire connection and to heal the neural harm that disconnection could cause.

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Additional info for Four Ways to Click: Rewire Your Brain for Stronger, More Rewarding Relationships

Example text

Maturity Has a New Meaning When I say that boundaries are overrated, I don’t mean that there are absolutely no boundaries, or that all of humanity is just one big, undifferentiated, brownish-beige lump. Nor am I suggesting that anyone give up her or his own distinct personality for the sake of fitting in with a cozy, companionable group. No therapist I know believes that it’s healthy to abandon your beliefs, preferences, and quirks for the sake of a smoothly running—and bland—larger whole. For decades, in fact, psychology moved in the other direction, in the belief that the only path to human growth was traveled via emotional separation.

As school-aged children interact with their peers and make mistakes, they learn how to manage relationships. Teenagers expand their relational worlds even further; they negotiate sexual relationships, and they have to learn how to become part of a group without succumbing to peer pressure. This reinterpretation of developmental growth has an overarching theme: human beings don’t mature by separating. Instead, they grow toward a greater and greater relational complexity. This approach to human development has a name: relational-cultural theory, or RCT.

So for years before the mirroring study, I was using Relational-Cultural Theory, or RCT, to help my patients. Instead of giving struggling young people the standard advice to “separate from your parents and stop depending on them for emotional support,” we looked for ways they could stay connected to their families of origin while building their adult lives. Instead of telling people with explosive anger or chronic irresponsibility that they had to learn to self-regulate, we picked their relationships that felt the most durable—and worked on new emotional skills in an atmosphere that made it safer and easier to take risks.

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Four Ways to Click: Rewire Your Brain for Stronger, More Rewarding Relationships by Amy Banks


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